A few late night thoughts.

If you're close to me, or even just pay attention to my social media, you'll probably have seen that my transition back to college has been rough for me. Many tears have been shed, I haven't eaten all that much, and I keep getting this nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. 

Hopefully in the next few days this feeling will go away. I'm trying to fix the problem the only way I know how, and constantly praying that everything goes okay.

But tonight was the first night that I've genuinely smiled in about a week. I went back to my high school to see my cousin strut her stuff in the Prom Fashion Show. I loved being there. It made me feel so happy. I got to see my family and some old friends that I haven't seen in a while. I talked to some people that I haven't seen in ages. And also got some much-needed hugs. 

I know I sound like a broken record, but I hope all of you know how much of an impact you have on me. The little comments, the hugs, the 'how are yous', the texts, the calls, everything y'all send my way, I want you to know how much I appreciate it. I've been feeling so alone lately, and tonight was the first time that I realized that I'm truly not alone. There are people who are still there for me even though they haven't seen me in a long time. There are family members and even some friends and teachers that seem to constantly have my back and support me and you have no idea how much that means to me. 

Although January hasn't been the best month for me, it's been the month that has shown me who I have in my life. It's shown me that I'm not alone. I may not really have an extremely close best friend like most girls or have a boyfriend, but I do have an amazing family and people who will jab a fork into anyone who tries to hurt me (I'm hungry, I had to put a food reference in here somewhere) and also people who take time out of their day to make sure I'm okay. 

I appreciate it more than you can imagine. I drove home tonight feeling happier than I have all week. I shed some tears tonight, but they were definitely happy tears.

Hopefully these next three months of school are comfortable and fun. I pray that they are. 

Thank you for reading this. And for listening. And for being there. And for being you. 

-Rachel xx