A Pen & A Paint Brush.

I have been writing and creating art for as long as I can remember. I always kept the two separate, not really thinking they could go hand in hand. I wanted to combine the two somehow but wasn't really sure how to do it efficiently. A professor of mine this past semester had us write an Artist Statement to go along with our final projects. Mine was somewhat lengthy, as I can get pretty long-winded. I really wasn't thinking much of what I wrote. All I knew was that it came straight from the heart. I reckon my emotion towards the painting showed more than I imagined, because my professor encouraged me to do writings with all of my paintings/work. I was told it opened another realm that isn't obvious by just looking at my work. 

That little push made me realize that maybe the two can go hand in hand. 

So far, I only have two: the one from my final project and one from a painting I did tonight. I'd like to share them with you. :)

"This portrait, like much of my work, is an open curtain to the inner workings of my heart and mind. Images of celebrities are a common motif in my work and for a specific reason. Growing up, I always dreamed of performing or doing something unconventional. I watched movies and listened to music, often with tears in my eyes because I was so moved by the work I was witnessing from these people I would never meet. Creating images of these people somehow makes me closer to them. On my loneliest days these individuals were there for me the instant I needed them. My hand was being held. The thought of never being able to meet these inspirational individuals lead to me creating portraits of them. The sadness I feel once I remember that thought is what drives me to make these images, and that is also why I usually chose an expression that is more serious. I create these portraits as a small thank you for all that they’ve done for me. I see so much beauty in them that I often don’t see in myself, so creating these images somehow helps me see that beauty in myself.  I see reflections of myself in them, partially because they’re living a life I’ve dreamed of since I was a child."

"My heart was aching for something to make me feel again. A word, an action, something. I felt so low and like something was missing. The lights were off and my head was on the pillow, praying for clarity and peace. Music was playing softly right by my ear. My eyes closed and feeling each word. "Oh butterflies, you steal my sleep each night." Words that clung to me for days, weeks, months. A haunting precursor for future events. Haunting words that kept me hopeful through months of hardships. On repeat. Each time they danced around me, my skin shivered with the most pathetic, lovesick glee. It left me in a dreamlike atmosphere. The words were there when you weren't. The words that gave me a sense of love and belonging, one that I so desperately wanted from you." Lyrics in italics from James Bay's song "Need the Sun to Break" 

This one was obviously not as "professional" sounding, I guess you could say. The first was written to present in class and the latter was a scribbling in an notebook. Both equally from my heart and soul. 

I know I said I wouldn't be posting as much as usual and would be keeping more things to myself, but I felt inclined to post these. I hope you enjoyed. And I hope you realize these little celebrity portraits I do mean more to me than it may seem. Each stroke and dot and color comes with a lot of emotion. 

<3

-Rachel