Despite all of the turbulence, I've never felt more like myself. I was sitting at my Grandma's house writing down some things in my journal, and a boatload of things came at me at once. I felt an urge to write this post, in hopes of helping someone else, but also in a hope of helping myself realize how wonderful life is despite the obstacles.
I've compiled a list of 7 things that I've learned so far. I may add to this later, I want to get up to 20 if I can. But for right now, here are 7 things that may help you, they definitely helped me.
1. Pray continually. I feel like this has often become a cliche. I always hear people say it. It's a wonderful thing to hear or tell someone, but until you really put action behind it, it will have no meaning. I'll be honest with you, I didn't understand exactly what this meant until this Lent season. Praying continually means that you are in a constant state of conversation with God. You don't have to sit, close your eyes then pray; it's just a constant mental awareness of God. I hope that makes sense. Say you wake up and say a prayer, you get ready for school and walk out the door. You look up at all the trees and the sun kissing your cheeks. You send God a simple thank you. Looking at His creation, which can be nature or even your friends. Saying thank you and being aware of the blessings He's given you will make your life much more worthwhile.
2. "Slow down, you crazy child. Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while." The only way I knew to describe this one was with a lyric from the song "Vienna" by Billy Joel. Slow down! Take a breath. Look at your surroundings and be thankful. Everything doesn't have to be done right this second. Take a moment and clear your mind. I've had to do this so much recently. My mind would get so fogged and my de-froggers (as my family says) weren't working. The only thing that has helped was calmly telling myself to "slow down and breathe." Realize that life isn't spinning as fast as you think it is. Yes, I know there are deadlines in life that need to be met at a certain date, but know that it's vital for your health to just close your eyes and realize everything probably isn't as bad as you think it is. Our minds often over analyze things and expect the worst situation is going to happen, when in fact that rarely happens. Take a moment to yourself today, or tonight, or whenever you're reading this. And it helps to put your phone down and experience the beautiful moments in life that you will never be able to see behind a screen. I know it's hard to peel yourself away from your phone, but trust me. Breathtaking moments happen when you aren't staring at a glass screen. (Are computer screens glass or plastic? I don't know. That knowledge is up my dad and sister's alley.)
3. Music enhances everything. Listen to music whenever you can. I've read something online once how music enhances your life somehow, I'm no expert I'm just preaching from experience. Music gives me this miraculous feeling that makes my skin tingle. I love music. I love hearing the passion in people's voices when they sing. I love listening to these gorgeous words that spew from their mouths. Elton John is the best person to listen to when you walk around, especially if you have to walk to class in the rain. Everything moves in slow motion. One of my favorite lyrics of all time is from Elton John's "Mona Lisas & Mad Hatters" where he says, Until you've seen this trash can dream come true / You stand at the edge while people run you through / And I thank the Lord there's people out there like you. Those words just send the most pleasant chill up my spine. This will segway into my next one, but before that here are some poets and musicians you should really look into: Toby Keith (writes all his own songs and has a voice like a warm biscuit with butter), Bernie Taupin (brilliant poet who wrote tons of songs with Elton John, including "Your Song"), Pablo Neruda (I recommend "Tonight I Can Write the Saddest Lines," you can hear his emotion and it's heartbreaking), Simon & Garfunkel (literally anything by them is great), Bob Dylan ("Buckets of Rain" is my personal favorite), Led Zeppelin, Chris Rice (Christian singer who is extremely underrated, he is worth a listen), R5, One Direction, and Keith Urban, just to name a few. These are from all different genres so hopefully you can find something you like. :)
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| Faceswap is terrifying. |
4. Love your friends. This sounds simple, kinda dumb even. Of course you should love your friends. But I'm saying you should love your friends to the extent that you are rooting for them in all that they do. Love your friends so much that they inspire you instead of make you jealous. I love my friends. More than they will ever know. All I want in life is for them to live a long, fulfilled, beautiful life, and I want them to know I am always there for them. I have a few childhood friends who have stuck with me since we were in elementary school. Those friends who know me inside and out and were there when I had bangs. (Which was a time in my life that I don't like to touch on. Those darn bangs.) Those friends who were there for me in those super formidable years. I love them to pieces. I know their families. I love them like my own. I went to college kind of lost because I feel like I didn't have a place. I feel like I belong somewhere now. I have a handful of pals who inspire me endlessly. I grew up loving art and drawing and didn't have anyone else to share that with, besides my art teachers. There was this little spark in me that just wanted to be surrounded by a community of accepting people who had that same spark. I found that group and I am overjoyed. I thank God for them everyday. I hope at least one of them will read this and realize that I do not take them for granted, and that I love y'all forever.
5. You're still single? Yes, yes I am. I've been rowing my little boat stag for eight years now. And it's okay if you are, too. Growing up I never cared about dating. It didn't really affect me until my friends started dating and guys would ask me if my friends or sister were single, which made me feel really puny. I always felt overlooked. I talked to a couple guys in high school. Nothing ever came of any of those guys, except quite a few broken hearts, if I'm honest. And while I'm being honest, I'll confess a few more things. I'm sure I've included these in posts before, or maybe I've even told you in person. But I want to share these things in hopes that maybe if you are in the same situation, you will feel less alone. I've never been on a date. I've never had my first kiss. Heck, I've never held a guy's hand. I have fears that I'll never have any of these experiences. Often I feel like because I haven't had any of these experiences, I have this ridiculous internal fear that every guy that gets near me hates me. Due to my previous encounters I just assume that maybe I'm undateable, unattractive, or just all around screwed up in some way. But let me tell you, it's not true. As much as I'd love to have a boyfriend who I could have a good time with, maybe I'm not supposed to have a boyfriend right now. My worth does not come from a guy. Your worth does not come from a guy. I have a hard time believing this myself, but it's true. Being single doesn't mean you are unlovable. I could delve into this topic more, but I just want to leave it here. Your worth does not come from a boy. Just because you are 17, 20, or even 35 and are single doesn't mean you are screwed up.
6. Find your happy. Take some time to be by yourself. This kind of correlates to #2. Find what makes you happy. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, do whatever it is that makes you happy. I write, I draw, I do yoga, I go thrift shopping, I sew, I watch YouTube videos, I dress up and take pictures, I make mood boards, I do things to make myself laugh. Find something that makes you feel so unapologetically yourself that all you can do is smile. Being joyful is so important. Explore those things that bring you joy and set up some me-time so you have time to do these things.
7. Mental health is important. I have never been formally diagnosed with any type of mental illness, so I don't want to diagnose myself just from feelings I've had, because I am not sure if I even have a mental illness. But all I can say is that I have been through many instances in my life where I've hit rock bottom and feel like all hope was gone, I've had panic attacks, I struggle with a plethora of irrational fears that make me feel paralyzed, and for years I've struggled with detrimental self-deprecating thoughts. I would never wish these things on anyone, but thankfully these things have lessened over the years. The one thing that I've found that has helped me is to make sure my mind feels okay before I take on any large task. If I can't somewhat clear my mind, I don't perform well and will make choices I wouldn't normally make. It's easier said than done, but you have to find things that will give you a sense of calm, even for a second. Two things that have helped me are: 1. Praying. If I pray before I start any task, I feel like God's hand is on me. Due to me being human, of course all of my fears won't go away, but praying gives me the reassurance that God is holding my hands through whatever I'm going through and I'm going to be okay. 2. Breathing. I take slow, deep breaths. We had a tornado warning at school a few weeks ago, and my heart started thunderously beating. (Many of you who have known me since I was little probably know this, but I have an awful fear of tornadoes. Even hearing that there is a chance of tornadoes makes me feel like I'm going to die, which is not an overstatement in the slightest.) I was surrounded by people I didn't know and I just had to stand still and take deep breaths. The fear didn't completely go away, but slowing down by breathing helped me regain a sense of my surroundings and not to let the irrational fear control me. Praying and breathing often go hand in hand. Another breathing technique I do (that a lovely friend of mine told me) is breathing deeply, and imagining cool water being flushed through your whole body, taking all of the thoughts and other gunk with it as it leaves your body. You just have to find something that works for you!
I hope to add more later as they come to mind!
-Rachel xx
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