Writing this reminds me of my childhood. When I would sit on the floor of my bedroom and scribble out letters to celebrities that I forgot about days later and never sent.
With this letter, hopefully you will see it. So if you're reading this, hello!
Back in the fall of 2015, I was sitting in my college dorm room looking for a movie to watch. I stumbled upon Almost Famous, one that I had never seen but had vivid childhood memories of seeing it in video rental stores. I watched it, and my life changed. A bit cliche of a statement, but I'm not sure how else to put it. I felt like something in me blossomed for the first time. I wanted to write. I wanted to dance. I wanted to read. I wanted to tell everyone about this little movie. My love for Elton John was revived. I remember sitting in my bed weeks later, listening to "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" and crying. I didn't know how to express how I felt about all of this happening inside me. I felt like no one would truly understand why I was so moved.
A few months passed, and for my music class I had to write a final paper on any musician I wanted. I chose Elton John. It felt like my wildest dreams coming true. I loved writing but wasn't crazy about college research papers, so hearing that I can write about any musician I wanted was making my heart beat thunderously in excitement. I was digging through my school's online database of books looking for something on Sir Elton. There was nothing about him in my school's book collection. But in the corner of my screen there was a book recommendation, (in reality, it probably popped up because I was searching 70s music/style, but I like to believe it was fate) I saw a girl crouching on a rock with flowers in her arm and in her hair on the cover of a book. I clicked on it and read the synopsis. I tucked it away in my memory, in hopes of remembering it later and finding it more about it.
My memory of it resurfaced, and I ordered the book on Amazon. I couldn't wait until it came in. That night, I snuggled into bed and cracked it open. I was expecting to read something that was going to get my mind off of school stresses and other things I was dealing with. Much to my surprise, it did so much more than just that.
Within the first 20 pages I was in tears. I felt like this woman, who lived in an entirely different place and different time than me, knew exactly what I was going through as a child. Reading about her crush on Paul McCartney reminded me of my admiration for Harry Styles. Those stupid letters I wrote as a child to celebrities (recently discovered one I wrote to John Travolta the day after I watched Grease for the first time. I couldn't have been more than 10!) suddenly didn't seem so stupid. The scribblings in childhood diaries, the feelings of wanting to escape, lovingly longing for some British boy who would probably never know my name. My imagination and curiosity was paralleled by hers.
The book, I'm With the Band: Confessions of a Groupie, became another turning point in my life. I was starting to realize that loving music, loving musicians, loving people, was not a taboo thing to do, and that it has been going on before I was born. I'm from a very small town in Tennessee, there is a lot of love here but I often felt like the black swan because of my interests. I always felt like I was alone in my interests and ways of thinking. Reading your book, I felt like I had a soul sister out in the world somewhere. Someone who understood writing letters to celebrity crushes and the ooey gooey feeling when you hear music that you love. I finally felt ready to pour out that bottle that I had been filling up for years.
I read Take Another Little Piece of My Heart: A Groupie Grows Up earlier this year, and I still got all of those same feelings. Especially in the parts when you were talking about counseling sessions you attended, because at the time I was reading your book I had started counseling for my anxiety. Again, it felt like my soul sister was holding my hand from miles away. When I was stressed at school, you were there. When I felt like someone didn't understand my heart, I know you did. I could tell that soon there was a change in my demeanor once I realized this was all happening. I even told my counselor about how reading your book and some other's books helped me realize I wasn't alone in what I was feeling.
I started reading Let it Bleed: How to Write a Rockin' Memoir during work one day. (I work at an art museum, it was a slow day and we're allowed to read when it's slow, don't worry! Haha!) I was thankful I had my pencil with me, I was underlining atleast one thing on every page I wanted to remember. I used to write all the time, but I've lost my zest for it this year. I was overjoyed to feel that zest for writing flood back when reading your book. And I'm trying to take the advice from your 12 minute exercises where you said just to write without thinking. That's what I tried to do with this post, and I keep catching myself wanting to apologize and erase, I'm slowly learning to just let it bleed. :p I regret not coming to your Nashville writing class, my anxiety took over and I let that rule my decision, hopefully another one will come around!
As I've worked on myself and my soul on these past couple years, I truly believe that the good Lord put that little book recommendation on my laptop screen because he knew that down the road I would need you to keep pushing me back to myself and what I was passionate about. Whenever I need a pep talk or to feel less alone, I will crack open one of your books or skim GroupieU. They are my saving grace.
I'm sure you hear this kind of stuff all the time, but might as well add another letter gushing with love and admiration to the list. You have forever changed this little 21 year old gal from Tennessee. You've inspired so much art, so much writing, and so much love. You radiate such a infectious light that I hope to exude myself one day. Hopefully one day I can meet you and give you a big ole hug. If that doesn't happen, your writings and light will always double as a warm embrace.
Much love to you,
Rachel Prince <3
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